After signing their lucrative off-season contracts this week, new Chicago acquisitions Carlos Pena of the Cubs and Adam Dunn of the White Sox have come together on a friendly wager to celebrate their new city.
Just minutes after the NHL moved Saturday's Winter Classic back eight hours due to weather issues in Pittsburgh, commissioner Gary Bettman announced a change to the 2012 showdown, whose host city has yet to be announced.
"That's it, I'm not watching them again this season," said Jesse Lofthouse, a 29-year-old man from Chicago's North Side. "I've come close a few times but after the way they blew the game today, I'm officially done."
President Obama has invited the Super Bowl XX championship Bears to the White House after their original visit was postponed in 1986 and never rescheduled. While there, ESPN has convinced them to reunite the ‘Shufflin' Crew’ to record a new opening for MNF.
In a shocking move sure to have impact throughout the league, the Raiders have decided to shore up their offense by adding Rex Grossman, the former Bears, Texans and now Redskins QB, to their lineup in exchange for their first-round draft picks from 2014-2017.
"I'm just so, so happy!" Redskins owner Daniel Snyder shouted while dancing at Fur sporting oversized neon Wayfarers and double fisting Pellegrino after Washington's OT loss at home to the Cowboys. "We almost won! We almost won! Tom and Katie should have been at [Sunday's] game!"