Thursday, December 8, 2022

Albert Haynesworth to compete for Team USA in Olympic couch-sitting

"I'm really good at eating pork rinds," Haynesworth noted. "I'm glad somebody finally can put my skills to use. I'd like to show the world how good Americans are at watching TV and eating snacks."

From the Lastros to the Cleveland Frowns, The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

RG3 already obsolete as improved RG4 model arrives in mail

"RG3 fared very well," said Redskins owner Dan Snyder. "But this new and improved model is even faster and more dynamic. In addition to laser-precision passing, he actually shoots lasers out of his eyes at opponents. Frankly, it's quite an upgrade."

Big East to add Hamburger University, Clown College, and the School of Rock

The question remains whether the Big East realizes that these are not actual institutions of higher learning with athletic programs, but their interest in them should be of no surprise – it’s money.

Jason Collins openly admits to being on the Wizards

"I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. I'm gay. And I play for the Wizards," the seven-foot center wrote in a Sports Illustrated op-ed piece. "I didn't set out to be on the Wizards, but since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation."

Tone-deaf Snyder and NFL change name to ‘Washington D.C. Redskins’

"We admit it -- the last name was just 'not right' as so many people have claimed," said Snyder. "Is the team from Seattle or something? Washington simply wasn't clear enough."

Cubs trade average player with super-hot wife to the Nationals

The Kim DeJesus era has come to an untimely end as her marginally talented husband David was dealt to the Nationals Monday afternoon.