The pop culture and sports worlds again collided Monday when it was announced that slutty socialite Kim Kardashian and shitty NBA player Kris Humphries were getting a divorce after just 72 days of marriage.
NBA commissioner David Stern today levied a $1 million fine against Nets minority owner Jay-Z after recently overhearing the rapper reference LeBron James and Dwyane Wade in his chart-topping hit "Empire State of Mind." The lyric in question refers to paying the Heat stars and set Stern off.
Jay Cutler has a new admirer, with whom he now shares the unique quality of what the youth nowadays refer to as “that ass.” What started with an innocent tweet from Cutler’s on-again-off-again girlfriend and reality starlet Kristin Cavallari, has turned everyone’s eyes towards the QB’s ba-donk-a-donk.
Why would the Nets trade a first-round pick to the Blazers for Gerald Wallace? The answer boils down to a risky marketing campaign. That is because the deal is contingent on Gerald changing his first name to “Christopher” in memory of the late Notorious B.I.G.
Reportedly, the murder was arranged by Nets' Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov who presumably used his contacts in the Russian mafia to have Stern "taken out" for not forcing Otis Smith and the Magic to trade Dwight Howard to New Jersey by the trade deadline last week.
"This study comes as a surprise to no one," claimed Regina Benjamin, U.S. Surgeon General. "Mets fans have mostly been unable to achieve an erection since 1986, while many living Jets fans cannot become aroused even mentally."
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