Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Slutty socialite files for divorce from shitty NBA player

The pop culture and sports worlds again collided Monday when it was announced that slutty socialite Kim Kardashian and shitty NBA player Kris Humphries were getting a divorce after just 72 days of marriage.

NBA fines Nets minority owner Jay-Z $1 million for mentioning LeBron and Dwyane Wade...

NBA commissioner David Stern today levied a $1 million fine against Nets minority owner Jay-Z after recently overhearing the rapper reference LeBron James and Dwyane Wade in his chart-topping hit "Empire State of Mind." The lyric in question refers to paying the Heat stars and set Stern off.

Kardashian’s eyes turn to Cutler and his tight end

Jay Cutler has a new admirer, with whom he now shares the unique quality of what the youth nowadays refer to as “that ass.” What started with an innocent tweet from Cutler’s on-again-off-again girlfriend and reality starlet Kristin Cavallari, has turned everyone’s eyes towards the QB’s ba-donk-a-donk.

Nets ask Gerald Wallace to change name to Christopher to promote first season in...

Why would the Nets trade a first-round pick to the Blazers for Gerald Wallace? The answer boils down to a risky marketing campaign. That is because the deal is contingent on Gerald changing his first name to “Christopher” in memory of the late Notorious B.I.G.

Mikhail Prokhorov has David Stern assassinated for not making Magic trade Dwight Howard to...

Reportedly, the murder was arranged by Nets' Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov who presumably used his contacts in the Russian mafia to have Stern "taken out" for not forcing Otis Smith and the Magic to trade Dwight Howard to New Jersey by the trade deadline last week.

Nas buys minority stake in Knicks

Anything you can do we can do ... better? Not to be outdone by their new instate rival, Knicks owner James Dolan has reached an agreement to sell a small portion of the Knicks to recording artist Nas.

Being a fan of Mets, Jets or Nets causes erectile dysfunction, study reveals

"This study comes as a surprise to no one," claimed Regina Benjamin, U.S. Surgeon General. "Mets fans have mostly been unable to achieve an erection since 1986, while many living Jets fans cannot become aroused even mentally."