Monday, July 15, 2024

South Beach restaurant owners unite to applaud signing of Eddy Curry

"Eddy Curry may be the Eddy Curry of basketball, but he's the Michael Jordan of over-eating," one excitable restauranteur told reporters. "I can't wait for the payday that'll be coming my way the night that he decides to eat at my restaurant."

Knicks attempting to sign every mediocre point guard in the league

The Knicks made a big splash when they acquired Tyson Chandler to solidify the front court, but now with so much money upfront, the plan is to load the back court with every second-tier point guard available on the market.

Man wakes from 14-month coma, misses Knicks ‘good’ stretch

All 24-year-old Greg Lewis ever wanted was to see his beloved Knicks win a NBA championship. When a freak hayride accident placed him in a yearlong coma in 2009, it looked like he may never get that chance, but Greg persevered and miraculously woke from his slumber last Tuesday.

Pringles releases limited edition flavor in honor of Mike D’Antoni

Knicks fans have wanted Mike D’Antoni canned for years, but not like this. The mustachioed coach may be on the hot seat in New York, but Pringles believes in him enough to dedicate a new flavor in his honor.

Knicks broadcasts to feature laugh track

“Our research showed that most people painfully laugh while watching our guys play anyway,” said MSG’s head of programming, Greg Hollander. “So why not make it seem like the terrible play is intentional?”

Jeremy Lin has best game in Knicks history (for an Asian)

Jeremy Lin is the first Asian-American to play in the NBA since 1947. If you were to ask some Knicks fans, that was also the last time the team was competitive.

Knicks owner focuses on team’s TV deal after finalizing sale of soul to Satan...

"Undrafted, twice-cut, Chinese-American, Christian, couch-surfing, Harvard-graduates don't just fall out of the sky," said an indignant Dolan. "Yao Tebow, as I like to call him, came at a price. My eternal soul, to be specific."