Restaurant owners throughout Miami are rejoicing after free agent Eddy Curry has agreed to terms with the Heat Thursday. The seven-foot, 300-pound former Chicago and New York center is known for his poor work ethic as well as his voracious appetite and is expected to contribute the majority of his salary to various South Beach eateries.

“Eddy Curry may be the Eddy Curry of basketball, but he’s the Michael Jordan of over-eating,” one excitable restauranteur told reporters. “I can’t wait for the payday that’ll be coming my way the night that he decides to eat at my restaurant.”

While most restaurant owners are cheering this signing, owners of all-you-can-eat buffets have expressed worry, fearing that the 2001 first-round pick could eat them out of business.

Jeff GoodSmith