Breaking!

“You’ve got limited time and space in this area,” said Toub. “My method to prepare guys for situations like this? Bungee cords. You tie guys to the opposing uprights and let them go. They’ll learn real fast to make some quick decisions.”

Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Despite playing only 8 NFL games, he was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

"Is this how it feels when you don't get sacked nine times in a game?" asked Cutler moments after the Bears finished off a 30-24 Monday Night Football win over the Eagles. "I'm walking without a pronounced limp and none of my extremities are tingling. I could get used to this."

After a seemingly endless bye week, the Bears return to the field Monday night in Philly against the hated Eagles. Follow all the fun and nonsense along with our Bingo board. Let us know when you win and we might just have a prize for you.

Blackhawks fans excited to see their team exact revenge on the hated Canucks for last season's playoff elimination were severely disappointed Sunday night as Chicago laid an egg and was blown out 6-2 on their home ice. But there is a bit of a silver lining for those who watched it in person.

"I'm so excited about this new 'Manager for a Year' promotion," said new Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein. "I can't really think of any viable managerial candidates for this team other than the wildly successful manager I used to work with, Terry Francona. So we decided to open up the search a little bit to our loyal and smart fans."

NBA commissioner David Stern today levied a $1 million fine against Nets minority owner Jay-Z after recently overhearing the rapper reference LeBron James and Dwyane Wade in his chart-topping hit "Empire State of Mind." The lyric in question refers to paying the Heat stars and set Stern off.