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With a little over a month until opening day, the Cubs will look to start the season on a high note by building a dome over Wrigley Field to hotbox their fans.
While reassuring the public they are still "good friends who have a great deal of respect for each other," Joe Maddon and Theo Epstein took their differences of opinion to the media this week. Tensions have escalated to the point where the once dynamic Cubs duo have agreed to settle those differences in a cage match later this month in Arizona.
After decades of lobbying, the Cubs finally gave in and allowed Eddie Vedder a spot on their roster this week.
With the world teetering on the verge of nuclear destruction, the Cubs have decided to not make any moves this offseason until they are sure that there is anyone alive left to sign at all.
"We've got a lot of work to do and moving Todd is our top priority," said President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein. "Unfortunately no one is interested in the guy."
"It's unfortunate for Rossy that his agent didn't catch the language," said Epstein, "but you can't blame us for taking advantage of it."
The Cubs named David Ross their new manager today, shocking observers who knew this move was a forgone conclusion before the start of the season. “It’s just crazy the Cubs hired Ross after nearly a year of everyone knowing this was going to happen eventually,” said ESPN and NBC Sports Chicago’s David Kaplan. “It’s kind […]