Theo Epstein 12
With the world teetering on the verge of nuclear destruction, the Cubs have decided to not make any moves this offseason until they are sure that there is anyone alive left to sign at all.
"We've got a lot of work to do and moving Todd is our top priority," said President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein. "Unfortunately no one is interested in the guy."
"It's unfortunate for Rossy that his agent didn't catch the language," said Epstein, "but you can't blame us for taking advantage of it."
The Cubs named David Ross their new manager today, shocking observers who knew this move was a forgone conclusion before the start of the season. “It’s just crazy the Cubs hired Ross after nearly a year of everyone knowing this was going to happen eventually,” said ESPN and NBC Sports Chicago’s David Kaplan. “It’s kind […]
An anonymous source confirmed that Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer determined that the Cubs could not win the World Series, so they instituted a systematic process to lose 10 of their last 12 games.