With a little over a month until opening day, the Cubs will look to start the season on a high note by building a dome over Wrigley Field to hot-box their fans.

“We know the weather is freezing in Chicago during the opening months of the season, so to ensure that both our club and fans get off to a blazing start, we are going to create a very comfortable, controlled environment by making Wrigley a domed field,” said Crane Kenney. “And with recreational marijuana now being legal in Illinois, we anticipate most of our fans will be stoned out of their gourds by the third inning even if it’s just from second-hand smoke.”

Along with a projected 200 million percent increase in concession sales for the 2020 season, the Cubs will also host a promotional #BuntsForBlunts game on April 20, in which every fan will receive a complimentary blunt for every Cubs bunt, courtesy of NuMed. Former Cubs commentator Steve Stone will also be back in the booth to call the game for added synergies.

Shingo TaCatsu