At a Mirage Hotel press conference, home town heroes Harper and Bryant explained why they will now continue the legacy of iconic Las Vegas illusionists Siegfried & Roy rather than play baseball.
Citing his unwillingness to adapt the league to keep up with professional football and basketball — as well as an unbearable “old man smell” — baseball owners voted Bud Selig out as MLB Commissioner. The lone dissenting vote came from Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf, also a crotchety old man.
Normally modest and mild-mannered, Cubs outfielder Tyler Colvin has unleashed a new beast this spring by taking every opportunity to show Mesa-area ladies the chest scar he incurred late last season when he was impaled by a broken bat.
Spring Training is months away, yet Hawk Harrelson is in midseason form, already rationalizing Adam Dunn’s career strikeout total. The newly acquired DH has over 1,600 whiffs and averages about 180 a season.
Jake Peavy prides himself on “telling it like it is,” yet the right-hander shocked even the most seasoned of reporters yesterday when he gave a very candid prediction for his season. “I think I’ll probably go 7-5 and suffer some freak injury about a week or 10 days into August. Let’s say, Aug. 9 against the Orioles.”