Fans can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that baseball games are about to become much safer, after the MLB announced that they will allow fans to bring in guns to shoot down potentially dangerous projectile foul balls.

“Ensuring the safety of our fans while maintaining the integrity of the game is of the utmost importance to us,” said MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred. “That’s why instead of creating a slight visual inconvenience with nets, we’re going to allow our fans to bring in guns to shoot down the foul balls instead. After all, the only way to stop a foul ball is a good fan with a gun.”

Major League Baseball will also double down on its safety protocols, conducting background checks on all fans’ past baseball experience, to make sure they’re ready for a 100 MPH ball to come at their face.

Shingo TaCatsu