Cubs sign Travis Hafner to 10-year, $125 million contract
The Cubs surprised the sports world today, signing 35-year-old DH Travis Hafner to a 10-year, $125 million contract. The oft-injured former Cleveland Indian hasn't played more than 150 games in a season since 2007, but team president Theo Epstein said he finally couldn't resist the urge to frivolously spend his club's money on an aging veteran who does nothing to improve the team.
Yankees unveil souvenir arm and leg casts ahead of injury-plagued season
"These are the same casts that 10 or 15 Yankees will probably have to wear this season," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman. "For the low price of $34.99, you can experience 2013 just like a player on the field."
ESPN adds new Yankees-Red Sox channel
“Once again, ESPN has broken new ground in sports programming,” said a network spokesperson. “The interest in these two teams is overwhelming among the only demographic that counts, the northeast United States.”
Yankees and A-Rod agree to resolve their differences on ‘The Jerry Springer Show’
The episode, which will be called "Naughty Players and the GM’s Who Love Them" is scheduled to air on the WGN Network after a Maury Povich re-run and before a new episode of "I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant."
Experts: Soriano trade gives Cubs 0.00000001% better chance of winning Series by 2095
"Without question, the Cubs chances at a World Series victory by 2095 have now improved ever so slightly," said ESPN baseball analyst Jayson Stark.
MLB suspends Dempster five games for hitting A-Rod just once
Highly criticized by fans and local media, at least one teammate said Dempster “didn’t have the guts to plunk the S.O.B. the second time he came to the plate. “
Yankee savior Alfonso Soriano tests positive for being an Ex-Cub
The sample was compared to a blood test conducted during his time with the Cubs and they realized that leaving the Cubs actually improved Soriano's DNA to the point that he became an effective baseball player again.
