Monday, June 17, 2024

D’Antoni vows to learn the art of defense in his time away

“While we certainly would have made the playoffs this year, it hit me that we didn't play defense like previous NBA champions,” D'Antoni said. “We actually didn't play defense at all, and that was my fault.”

Remorseful Carmelo admits giving up basketball for Lent

“Most people don’t know, but I’m a very religious man,” Carmelo stated. “I was always told you had to give up something you truly love as a test, so I picked my bread and butter … then I remembered I gave up bread and butter last year, so I chose basketball.”

Knicks fans brace themselves for Isiah Thomas re-hire

Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni resigned from the team Tuesday after three disappointing seasons at the helm. On any other day, Knicks fans would be relieved, but unfortunately someone uttered the name "Isiah Thomas" as a possible replacement.

Amar’e petitions league to lower rims to nine feet

“I was actually going to ask for eight feet, but I didn’t want to get greedy,” Stoudemire said. “Seriously though man, 10 feet is high as shit. I’m 29 with the body of a 65-year-old. How am I supposed to jump that high?”

Knicks to rent Jeremy Lin to other storyline-starved teams

Knicks' GM Glen Grunwald announced the team will rent out point guard Jeremy Lin to other pro sports teams who are looking for more media coverage and storylines to drum up fan interest.

J.R. Smith’s new haircut is a secret jab at LeBron’s hairline

“Son’s barber must have slipped up, he shoulda went to my dude, Andre in Bensonhurst” said Knicks fan Mookie. “Twenty minutes, he’d have him looking fresh.”

Knick fans settle on Jeremy Lin’s nickname ‘The Big Apple Turnover’

Jeremy Lin stormed onto the scene scoring the most points by any player in his first five NBA starts ... he also led in turnovers.