Patriots

While this year's Super Bowl Media Day passed with relatively few surprises, there were a few uncomfortable moments when New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski donned a fake mustache and proceeded to ask numerous news sources and members of the team if they "remembered that time" that Rob Gronkowski caused a stir by posing, shirtless, in a picture with porn star Bibi Jones.

"You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is 'Yes'," admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. "Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?"

After the New England Patriots declared they didn't alter their footballs in any manner and attributed the fluctuations in pressure to cold temperatures, skeptics pounced. One such individual was Bill Nye, noted thermal engineering expert and all-around creepy genius, who claimed that the explanation given by the Patriots was an absolute scientific impossibility.

“I was beside myself when I learned I would be hearing the appeal,” Judge Berman remarked. “And, when I say ‘beside myself,’ I mean that person beside me will have a tough task of either agreeing with his original decision or the person he just ruled against. It’s hard to say which way it will go.”

Where will Tom Brady play in 2020 and does anyone outside New England really care about the soon-to-be 43-year-old with a shot arm? Outside of ESPN, not really. But boy do the hosts of First Take, Get Up, SportsCenter and even NBA: The Jump sure do!

A Boston man nearing the end of his professional career this week announced he was moving his family to Florida to prepare for retirement.

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick picked a perfect day to hold a press conference with his new starting quarterback, Brian Hoyer on April Fools Day as he shared his excitement for next season.