In a Thanksgiving fiasco last Thursday, Jets guard Brandon Moore suffered a “rectal contusion” in the second quarter. During the play, Jets QB Mark Sanchez committed one of the most hilarious, boneheaded moves in NFL history.

A former first round draft pick, Sanchez appeared to have forgotten the play call in the time between the huddle and the snap. When the ball was snapped, Sanchez went back and to the right as if to hand off the ball to a running back that was not there. After pausing for a moment, he decided to pull the ball down and run … right into Moore’s rear end. Newtonian physics took over, and Moore’s posterior slammed Sanchez down into the turf while knocking the football out of his arms. The ball was retrieved by a Patriots defender and returned for a touchdown. Sanchez, meanwhile, pouted around the field amid a shower of boos.

Dr. Harold Whitman, proctologist, said that Sanchez actually caused severe harm to Moore during the play. Moore will likely head to the IR to miss the rest of the season.

“Whether or not he needs a colostomy remains to be seen,” Whitman said. “We are also running tests to see if Mark is suffering from concussion problems after the play.”