Understanding their collegiate basketball careers may well be over after engaging in a melee with the Cincinnati Bearcats, several Xavier team members starting looking elsewhere for their future success. It appears as though the team has found it after gap producer and well-known thug Suge Knight offered the entire team body guard jobs as part of his entourage.

“When I heard Tu Holloway talk after that game, I knew these were my guys,” said Knight when interviewed by reporters. “When I heard him talk about how they’re a bunch of ‘gangstas’ and how they liked to zip people up, I knew they were going to become my next Ice Unit.”

When asked to follow up on what he meant by “Ice Unit,” Knight replied, “You know, next time I need to hang a fool out a window like Vanilla Ice, the Tu-crew are my boys.”

Holloway reportedly jumped at the opportunity to join a rivalry that spans two coasts instead of a mere city.

“Cincy is cool and all, but we’ve got to take this thing national,” said Holloway. “We have a distinct skill set, and its being under-utilized here. It’s time to make the jump to the pros.”

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