Disgraced Brewers slugger Ryan Braun is blaming a leftover chorizo for the drug test he failed at the end of this season.
“I always eat bratwursts,” said the Brewers disgraced slugger. “But then one time last September all the brats were gone by the time I got to the clubhouse and somebody said, ‘Have a chorizo! They really give up a boost.'”
Braun said he now regrets having eating the chorizo.
“I should have known better,” said Braun. “Look at all that stuff coming up here from Mexico. You can’t even drink the water down there so who knows what they put in their sausage.”
Braun added that he was no longer going to trust teammates on any food recommendations.
“I’ll tell you one thing,” said Braun. “I’m never trusting a teammate again. You know cockamamie story Rafael Palmeiro came up with? Maybe it was true. In any case no more chorizos for me.”
Added Braun: “I’m not even going to Taco Bell anymore. That stuff will kill ya.”