After beating the Kansas City Chiefs 37-10 to improve their record to 8-5, the New York Jets, their players, and their coach, Rex Ryan, resolved that they aren’t going to lose another game. Ever.  Earlier in the season highlighted by a three-game losing streak against Oakland, New England, and Baltimore, the Jets’ players said they didn’t really care about winning games. Since winning the last few games propelled them into the second wild card slot in the AFC, the Jets have realized that winning isn’t so bad and it couldn’t hurt to please the fan base once in a while.

“I love the whole ‘winning’ concept that the players have started using,” said Ryan. “I used to not care about winning that much as long as I could talk crap to every team we play. But now I realize that I can talk crap to other teams even if we lose, but it is way easier if we win.”

The movement was started by one Jet in particular, linebacker Bart Scott. When asked about how excited he was to play the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, he replied, “Can’t wait to win!”

There is one person who doesn’t agree with the new mentality: the team’s terrible offensive coordinator, Brian “son of Marty” Schottenheimer.

“I don’t like it at all,” he said. “Now I’m going to be expected to put a winning gameplan for every single game and frankly, I’m not smart enough to do that. I liked our team better when we lost games to bad teams like the Broncos and Raiders.”