Hockey fans nationwide breathed a huge sigh of relief Tuesday as Sidney Crosby and the Penguins were knocked off the pedestal of a 12-game winning streak losing to rival Philadelphia Flyers. The Penguins made no excuses for themselves during the post-game media conference, except Sidney Crosby who was quick to point fingers at fellow teammate Evgeni Malkin.

“Those guys were just trying to make me look bad,” said Crosby. “They’re jealous. If Evgeni Malkin hadn’t returned from his knee injury, we would have won this game. Because of him, I won’t be talked about on SportsCenter every five minutes. That jerk stole my thunder.”

Media sources attempted to speak with Malkin after the game who was reportedly out at local bars drinking with Flyers Chris Pronger and Scott Hartnell celebrating the Penguin’s loss that evening in a White Russian drinking contest.

“This was a great day in Penguins history and I’m proud to be a part of it,” said the inebriated Malkin, who reportedly crawled back to the hotel in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Fans everywhere will praise my failure and name babies after me.”

Crosby was not available for comment on Malkin’s remarks as he was reportedly out on a media blitz to promote his magnificence and splendor to any media source available. It was reported by early Wednesday he had already contacted critical media outlets such as Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar and Vogue.

By Morgann Spicer

Morgann Spicer