Moments after the San Francisco Giants put the final nail in the Rangers’ World Series coffin, the Texas Board of Education released a statement indicating that this year’s Fall Classic would not be a part of any history curriculum coming out of the Lone Star state.
On the heels of the debates last spring that replaced Darwin’s Theory of Evolution with Noah’s Ark in science class, the Texas Board of Ed continued down the path of virtuousness.
“This so-called baseball series never happened as far as we’re concerned,” said board member Don McLeroy. “What proof is there that San Francisco — aka Gomorrah — could ever defeat the righteous and rightful winners from Texas?”
When shown irrefutable evidence, in the form of a video tape of the final out along with several interviews of Rangers players admitting defeat, McLeroy stood his ground and claimed it was “all trickery aimed at confusing the Rangers community like the serpent confused Eve in that pre-Bible that came before the real Bible.”
The Texas Board of Ed promised that in the future the one true history would emerge: The Rangers won it in four and the heathens in San Francisco never had a chance.
By Gregg Jaffe