Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia has filed a lawsuit against a resident of Jersey City, New Jersey, after the resident mistook him for Grimace and asked for an autograph for his son. Grimace, like Sabathia, is a large, slow-moving mass of coagulating cheeseburgers. At 6-foot-7, and 290 pounds, Sabathia is nothing to scoff at, having apparently later threatened to consume the man’s son. Sabathia is also frequently mistaken for Frosty the Snowman during winter months.
Sabathia later said that he had walked into McDonald’s, looked at the menu, and told the clerk “I’ll have it.” What he meant was, he wants one of “everything with everything on it.” He later remarked that he became enraged when he learned that he could not get a large soda anymore due to Mayor Bloomberg’s ban on large quantities of soda being sold in restaurants, so he had to order “several small” sodas.
“When he approached me I was already infuriated to the point of sweating, which really isn’t that big of a deal for me because I sweat when I sleep,” Sabathia said. “But the guy kept asking me where Ronald was, so I told him who I was. He said his kid wanted a Grimace autograph more than a CC Sabathia autograph, so I told him off.”
The accused man has called the suit baseless.
“My kid just wanted an autograph from that fat tub of lard,” said the man. “And since Grimace wasn’t around, I picked the only other tub of lard I saw around the restaurant.”