"Yes, he did that against the Broncos' second and third stringers," admitted Bears fan Bob Borowski. "Which is why I'm not predicting double-digit Super Bowl rings."
In a stunning announcement by the Cubs today, the Ricketts family extended a 2016 World Series championship ring to exiled super fan Steve Bartman. But lost in the fine print were details on the other commemorative rings the team discretely opted to issue.
Eager to finally do something right on draft night, the Bulls dealt All-Star Jimmy Butler to the Timberwolves for Kris Dunn, Zach LaVine and the seventh pick, which was used to select some tall dude from Finland. Bulls VP of basketball operations John Paxson explained the move to reporters, saying fans "no longer had a reason to care" about the team for a while.
"Not worried about job security at all," argued Glennon. "Here's the thing. In Tampa, I had these really obnoxious neighbors at my apartment complex who would play Metallica all night long. Florida leases are tough to break, so I was forced to deal with the situation. I spent a lot of tired, groggy days on the bench because of it."
Let's go viral! And we know everyone has Ronnie Woo-Woo opinions! And everyone has a Ronnie Woo-Woo story. Let's hear it! Click! Click! Click! It's not ridiculous at all!
Those who've known Bears GM Ryan Pace since his youth are not surprised about the blockbuster trade he pulled off Thursday night, parting with three draft picks just to move up one first-round spot to choose North Carolina QB Mitch Trubisky.
"It's a fire sale. Everything must go," said Epstein, while on a phone call with another team's GM. "Rizzo for three 17-year-old prospects? Done! Bryant for a No. 5 starter and a cooler mascot than ours? Send me the paperwork!"