“You probably don’t know this about me, but I really know how to invest money,” said Samardzija. “We’re talking stocks, bonds, various hair care products, a giant pirate flag for my front lawn. Like an old flag from a real pirate ship. That has to cost a lot, right? I can totally turn this thing around."
All around the city of Chicago the police and fire department have been called twice more than usual today for inexplicable accidents. Pedestrians have been running into walls, drivers have missed their turns and run into each other, and numerous people have gotten caught halfway through the door on the "L."
Quenneville: "I can't joke around with them at all. They take everything so seriously. They're such team players that they're just going with the flow, no matter what line I put them on."
Originally published in 2007, The Cubs Fan's Guide To Happiness is back with an updated edition for 2014. The book reveals what makes Cubs fans tick and what keeps them happy. It explains why it’s not over until you’re mathematically eliminated, why winning really isn’t everything, and why it’s perfectly acceptable to blame all your troubles on a scapegoat, which may or may not be an actual goat.
Many baseball experts believe that the Cubs are entering a grey area between rebuilding and actually competing. But, just a few days into the 2014 season, the players on the roster are still expressing confusion as to whether they should be tanking.
Bonifacio is currently hitting .668, a stat Epstein was able to leverage to acquire the best player in the league.
A popular McDonald's television commercial to promote the Filet-O-Fish sandwich, which features three men on a submarine, was also produced in the Spanish language.
"We always knew that the team was a few years away from legitimately competing for a playoff spot, so we decided that if we're going to lose anyway, we might as well do it in the most excruciatingly long-winded and anxiety-inducing way possible."
"He's partial to Holmes on Homes and Property Brothers," a source close to the situation claimed. "And don't even get me started on all the episodes of House Hunters and Love It or List It. Wow. That guy has a real problem."