“We’ve already won a few,” said Warriors guard Steph Curry, “so we’re good with just packing it in now. We love our fans and it’d be great to add another ring to this hand but I’d rather eat one of LeBron’s socks after an OT loss than have to go to D.C. these days.”
Following their 38-7 shellacking in Philadelphia Sunday night, President Donald Trump demanded the entire team be deported.
Injured Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford was spotted golfing at Donald Trump’s famed Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida this past weekend. This comes as confusing news to fans who have been in the dark about the Crawford’s mysterious “upper-body injury” for several weeks.
President-elect Donald Trump followed through with his campaign promise of deportation on Monday night by barring the Oakland Raiders and Houston Texans from returning to the U.S. following their game in Mexico City.
First Hillary took out her smartphone, an iPad and three damaged Blackberries to see if she could check the score and give a slightly condescending correct answer. Then, a furious Donald Trump demanded he knew the answer without even looking, and claimed that the Cubs were winning 15-0 because they were winners.
"I'm going to be so amazing, it will make your head spin," said Trumpell. "Which is the real reason you'll have a concussion, not because of playing football. Any idiot knows that."