Earlier today the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors let it be known that instead of finishing the series in which the Warriors lead 2-0, both teams would withdraw from the NBA finals rather than face the possibility of winning, and receiving an invite to the White House.
“We’ve already won a few,” said Warriors guard Steph Curry, “so we’re good with just packing it in now. We love our fans and it’d be great to add another ring to this hand but I’d rather eat one of LeBron’s socks after an OT loss than have to go to D.C. these days.”
Players on the Cavs echoed Curry’s sentiments.
“Normally I tell my guys that we can come back from this kind of deficit,” Cavs star LeBron James said, “but in this case I told them, ‘Let’s just quit right now boys.’”
When asked for comment, the President’s office released a statement that both teams were already uninvited retroactively and that the NBA players were a disgrace for all those times they kneeled during a timeout while their coaches drew up plays on a whiteboard. Then the press secretary left for the Oval Office to explain what the word “retroactively” meant to the president.