Saturday, October 31, 2020

Cavs, Warriors agree to end series early to avoid invitations to White House

“We’ve already won a few,” said Warriors guard Steph Curry, “so we’re good with just packing it in now. We love our fans and it’d be great to add another ring to this hand but I’d rather eat one of LeBron’s socks after an OT loss than have to go to D.C. these days.”

NBA’s Eastern Conference Finals to continue anyway

"This is a best of seven series," said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. "We have TV deals in place, player contract stipulations must be enforced and I'd personally like to see LeBron [James] just destroy Toronto's will to live, to be honest."

Enraged Miami fans lash out at LeBron by vowing to ignore Heat for another...

"We didn't care about the Heat for the four-year period between our first championship and the signing of LeBron, and we sure as hell won't care now," said George Varela of Pompano Beach.

Cavs fan wondering how to get burn marks out of his old LeBron jersey

"If you look at it, only about 25 percent is destroyed," said Sal Wellmuler of Shaker Heights. "About half of the rest of it is covered in soot and char marks. There's got to be a way to get that stuff out of it, right?"

George Will writes biography detailing Andrew Bynum’s one-day Bulls career

Highlights will include Bynum’s trip to the airport, the failed team physical and of course the lengthy dialogue between Bynum and the equipment manager about which bowling alleys near the United Center had the best Chinese food buffet.