Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Clippers place middle finger statue in Staples Center outside Lakers locker room

Clippers president Andy Roeser has ordered an oversized statue of a hand giving the middle finger be placed immediately outside the Los Angeles Lakers locker room within the very stadium the two teams share.

Lakers cut payroll to help Kobe with divorce settlement

"Kobe has done so much for the organization," said owner Jerry Buss. "We felt we couldn't let him wave bye-bye to the $360 million he has made during his tenure as a Laker. As soon as the papers are signed, the team is prepared to offer him a contract that will recoup anything he loses to Vanessa."

L.A. residents confuse ‘Paul to the Clippers’ headline as title of a new Tarantino...

“'Paul to the Clippers'?” asked a UCLA student. “I think I saw on IMDB that's Quentin Tarantino's new flick about strippers in New Mexico who seek revenge against the corrupt school boards.”

Pujols mocks Derrick Rose over paltry 5-year deal that ‘doesn’t screw fans at all’

"What a moron!" exclaimed Pujols. "I'm like 20 years older than him and I got myself a 10-year, quarter billion dollar deal! He didn't even bother to screw over all his devoted fans. Such a joke."

Angels announce ‘modest’ 240% hike in ticket prices

Following the high-profile signings of Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson for a combined $335 million, the Angels have announced a "modest price increase" of 240 percent on all seats in Angel Stadium.

Chargers still deciding whether to crush fans’ hopes this week or next

According to team sources, the 7-7 Chargers have yet to decide whether to get blown out by Detroit on Saturday, or defeat the Lions so they can crush their own fans' hopes at the last possible moment with a Week 17 loss to the Raiders.

Angels rush to void deal after birth certificate surfaces proving Pujols is 45

The Los Angeles Angels quickly moved to void the 10-year, $254 million deal they handed Albert Pujols after a document surfaced from the Dominican Republic noting the slugger's year of birth as 1966.