With the recent signing of point guard Chris Paul, the Los Angeles Clippers have turned the NBA world on its axis. Coupling Paul with superstar Blake Griffin has essentially given the long maligned organization the star power once only reserved for the Lakers.
In keeping with the newfound gusto, Clippers president Andy Roeser has ordered an oversized statue of a hand giving the middle finger be placed immediately outside the Los Angeles Lakers locker room within the very stadium the two teams share.
“What are they going to do?” said Roeser. “We’re big brother now. Suck on that, Jerry Buss!”
“I find it a little classless that they have to flip us the bird,” said Kobe Bryant. “I mean, come on. Isn’t this a gentleman’s game?”
Reporters, however, were unable to obtain the remainder of Bryant’s comments as the entire Clippers’ front office showed up at the press conference, dropped their pants, and began mooning the perennial All-Star.
Other reports have indicated that Clippers players have begun urinating in remote parts of the Staples Center. When asked why, Griffin stated, “Time to mark our territory. This is OUR house now.”
Commissioner David Stern was reached for comment, but none was obtained as all that could be heard via telephone was pure diabolical laughter coupled with an occasional blurting of, “Stern Rules!”
