Thursday, February 29, 2024

Cubs send Astros flowers, ask them not to leave

It became apparent over the weekend that the Cubs suddenly noticed the value of their partners in shame when thousands of bouquets of flowers appeared around Minute Maid park with notes that read: “Gonna miss u. Baby plz don’t go."

From the Lastros to the Cleveland Frowns, The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Prior to first NFL start, Chiefs Palko already ranked 30th best starting QB, higher...

Tyler Palko has toiled around the NFL since 2007, but you wouldn’t know it since he had not recorded a stat until last year when he was the Chiefs’ third-string quarterback. After Matt Cassel left last Sunday’s game against the Broncos with an injury to his throwing hand, Palko stepped in behind center and now finds himself starting in his first NFL game against Patriots on Monday Night Football.

Raiders send four first-round draft picks to Washington for Grossman to back up Palmer

In a shocking move sure to have impact throughout the league, the Raiders have decided to shore up their offense by adding Rex Grossman, the former Bears, Texans and now Redskins QB, to their lineup in exchange for their first-round draft picks from 2014-2017.

Baseball gods put ultimate smackdown on Cubs with Astros and White Sox sweeps

The almighty lords of baseball patted themselves on the back this afternoon after finding yet another way to put the hurt on Cubs fans: by forcing them to endure a sweep at the hands of the last place Astros – while watching the crosstown rival White Sox sweep Boston.

Carlos Lee holding clubhouse attendant hostage until he gets more bear claws

Not satisfied by the six large bear claws he’d already eaten, Astros outfielder Carlos Lee has taken a Wrigley field employee hostage until “someone gets him another dozen damn donuts.”

In lieu of building better team, Houston erects more hills in outfield

The Astros have hired mini-golf course/laser-tag arena designer Skip Humburger to turn the already-treacherous Minute Maid Park outfield into something that looks even more like a tourist attraction.