The Astros have hired mini-golf course/laser-tag arena designer Skip Humburger to turn the already-treacherous Minute Maid Park outfield into something that looks even more like a tourist attraction.
Not satisfied by the six large bear claws he’d already eaten, Astros outfielder Carlos Lee has taken a Wrigley field employee hostage until “someone gets him another dozen damn donuts.”
The almighty lords of baseball patted themselves on the back this afternoon after finding yet another way to put the hurt on Cubs fans: by forcing them to endure a sweep at the hands of the last place Astros – while watching the crosstown rival White Sox sweep Boston.
Why They Might Be Good: Rockets trainer Keith Jones is optimistic that fragile forward Tracy McGrady will make it through the season injury-free. "He had pins put in his left ankle, right shoulder, both knees, coccygeal vertebrae, right earlobe, the index and middle fingers of his shooting hand, and his johnson. We're confident he'll play up to his potential this season–especially if the brain transplant took."
In a shocking move sure to have impact throughout the league, the Raiders have decided to shore up their offense by adding Rex Grossman, the former Bears, Texans and now Redskins QB, to their lineup in exchange for their first-round draft picks from 2014-2017.
Tyler Palko has toiled around the NFL since 2007, but you wouldn’t know it since he had not recorded a stat until last year when he was the Chiefs’ third-string quarterback. After Matt Cassel left last Sunday’s game against the Broncos with an injury to his throwing hand, Palko stepped in behind center and now finds himself starting in his first NFL game against Patriots on Monday Night Football.
Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.