South Sider welches on promise to cut mullet if Sox miss playoffs
Joe Malonecki, an out-of-work South Sider, has gone back on his promise to shear off his beloved mullet if the Sox failed to make the postseason. His friends were perplexed by his unwillingness to part with the hairstyle nearly a month after his team was eliminated from postseason contention.
ESPN demotes Steve Phillips to minors
Following revelations that he had an affair with a production assistant, ESPN has demoted Steve Phillips to the network's minor league broadcast system.
Fox hires Ozzie as World Series commentator; FCC prepares for big payday
Fox announced Wednesday it hired foul-mouthed White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen as a pre- and post-game World Series analyst. Surprisingly, the FCC is thrilled by the news.
Pistons find out Gordon is only 5-foot-2
Following a recent workout, the Pistons came to the shocking revelation that free agent signee Ben Gordon is really only 5-foot-2. The Pistons found out after measuring the former Bulls guard, who they signed to a five-year, $55 million deal this summer.
Cubs sign Jaramillo as hitting coach/right fielder
The Cubs signed hitting guru Rudy Jaramillo to a three-year deal today as hitting coach and right fielder, filling two desperate needs from its dismal 2009 season.
Salaam, Enis give Forte advice
Bears RB Matt Forte has had a tough go thus far in his second season, and struggled mightily Sunday night against Atlanta. Former promising Chicago tailbacks Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis have begun offering Forte some words of wisdom.
Kevin Gregg gets off-season job at Olive Garden
Cubs reliever Kevin Gregg will be busy working this winter. But instead of concentrating on pitching, he will be dishing out endless amounts of pasta, salad and breadsticks at a local Olive Garden.
