Following revelations that he had an affair with a production assistant, ESPN has demoted Steve Phillips to the network’s minor league broadcast system.

Phillips, who previously was general manager for the Mets, admitted having an affair with 22-year-old Brooke Hundley, a woman described by the New York Post as “the tubby temptress.”

ESPN spokesman Karl Smith confirmed the demotion, citing the company’s need to maintain standards.

“It’s pretty obvious Steve has completely lost his eye for talent,” said Smith. “You can’t be tapping girls that large and unsightly and expect to stay in the broadcast major leagues. This network is committed to excellence, and that applies to all aspects of our efforts, including tawdry affairs.”

Phillips also had an affair with a colleague during his time with the Mets, but according to Smith that woman was “way hot” and “hot enough” to meet corporate guidelines for in-office sex.

“We know he knows what constitutes ‘acceptable’ if you’re going to have a mistress,” said Smith. 

Phillips’ demotion will begin with an assignment to cover Conference USA NCAA football games.

“They’re some cute girls at those schools,” said Smith. “We hope Steve can regain his eye for separating the ones that are doable from the ones that should be grazing the stadium turf.”

By Tom Evans

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