Cubs to host haunted house at Wrigley filled with bad contracts and pulled hamstrings
Always in search of new revenue streams in this difficult economy, the Cubs are once again opening Wrigley Field for a non-baseball event, this time hosting a haunted house at the “Frightly Confines” the last weekend in October.
Theo’s first move as Cubs president will be installation of beer keg at second...
Coming off allegations that three Red Sox pitchers routinely drank beer in the dugout during games this season, the Cubs today announced plans aimed at imitating the successful formula that helped Boston end its long World Series drought.
Superstitious Hester entices fan in London ‘biff’ him in the head
“I heard how rowdy those fans get for their sports,” said Hester. “It should be nothing to get one to hit me and keep this streak going.”
In London, Cutler channels Austin Powers to regain his Mojo
“Groovy baby! Groovy!” Cutler said in what can only be deemed the most atrocious British accent since Madonna’s failed attempts during her marriage to Guy Ritchie. “Now all I need is an arch nemesis with an accompanying ‘little person’ who looks just like him.”
Kreutz calls it quits: Brees’ icy cold hands on his backside ‘gave him nightmares’
Former Bears center Olin Kreutz announced through his agent Friday that he was leaving the Saints because he “just hasn’t been feeling it.” However, sources close to the Saints staff seem to indicate that Kreutz was indeed “feeling it,” and left because he simply could no longer stand the icy-cold touch of quarterback Drew Brees’ hands on his backside.
Raiders send four first-round draft picks to Washington for Grossman to back up Palmer
In a shocking move sure to have impact throughout the league, the Raiders have decided to shore up their offense by adding Rex Grossman, the former Bears, Texans and now Redskins QB, to their lineup in exchange for their first-round draft picks from 2014-2017.
Robbie Gould defects from Bears to join Manchester United
“I have no doubt in my abilities to boot a ball around,” said Gould. “Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, even told me I have what it takes to be the next Wayne Rooney. I can't say no to that.”
