When an unsuspecting Devin Hester got “biffed” on the head at a local casino before last week’s contest against Minnesota, he responded by scoring two touchdowns en route to a Bears’ victory. Now superstitiously determined to carry that momentum over to this week’s game in England, Hester has decided to take matters into his own hands.

“I heard how rowdy those fans get for their sports,” said Hester. “It should be nothing to get one to hit me and keep this streak going.”

But despite his best efforts, confrontation continued to elude the elusive return man.

“This bloody lad cut in front on my way to grab a pint of Guinness,” said pub patron Colin Ridgwell. “I woulda biffed the bloke if he wasn’t here to play football. Must be trying out for Manchester.”

By Brian Berns

Heckler Brian