Always in search of new revenue streams in this difficult economy, the Cubs are once again opening Wrigley Field for a non-baseball event, this time hosting a haunted house at the “Frightly Confines” the last weekend in October. For only $19.08, fans can dress up in their most ghoulish of outfits and wander through Wrigley’s spooky concourse where they will be greeted along the way by a host of scary Cubby monsters, black cats, bad contracts and pulled hamstrings.

“Laura and Todd really love Halloween, they’re like two grown-up kids,” said Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts of his siblings who conceived the haunted house idea. “I just really hope that Theo gets to Chicago in time to participate. He promised to dress up and join me and Crane as the Three Musketeers. We’re going to pass out candy and bison dogs. It’ll be a hoot.”

Several Cubs players and team personnel from the past and present will dress up in costume and jump out and scare patrons at various locations throughout the concourse area. Some of the many haunted rooms that visitors can expect to pass through include:

“Bad Contract Alley” featuring current players Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Zambrano along with former underachievers Milton Bradley and Danny Jackson who will be dressed up as cackling hyenas who laugh all the way to the bank.

“Hamstring Hallow” with Aramis Ramirez, Kerry Wood and special guest Nomar Garciaparra all dressed up as one-legged pirates.

“Ghosts of Halloweens Past” featuring former closers Mel Rojas, Antonio Alfonseca, LaTroy Hawkins and Kevin Gregg wore will wear paper bags over their heads, each inscribed with their terrifying save percentages.

“Frankenstein and Igor” with former Cubs announcer Dave Otto and his little buddy Tony Campana.

“Friday the 13th” featuring former North Side hurler Jason Marquis with his hockey mask and errant chainsaw.

“A Nightmare on Clark St.” with former Cub knucklehead Julian Tavaraz as Freddy Krueger.

By Jeremy Barewin. Image by Kurt Evans.

Jeremy Barewin