Blackhawks crush Heat 124-56 in exhibition basketball game
"It wasn't really that hard," said Marian Hossa, who played power forward and held LeBron James to seven points. "Basketball is a very easy game compared to hockey. While this matchup made no sense, maybe it will cause Stephen A. Smith to shut his mouth."
Kane arrested for indecent exposure after misinterpreting media’s ‘streak’ question
Blackhawks forward and notorious party animal Patrick Kane made news on and off the ice today, as he pushed his team over the top against Detroit, then was promptly arrested for streaking after what he termed a "simple misunderstanding, bro."
Dusty Baker given second chance to end Mark Prior’s career
"I can't believe I'm finally getting a chance to finish the job!" exclaimed Baker. "Dude, forget the minors. [Mark] is going straight to the mound on opening day and then right back to the DL after that. I'm putting him on a strict 200-pitch minimum."
Horse meat found in Matt Garza’s right arm
The Chicago Cubs were drawn into Europe's ever-widening food scandal Monday after authorities said they had detected horse meat in Cubs pitcher Matt Garza’s right arm.
Phoenix leveled by giant, rampaging Ryan Braun
Spring Training turned violent today as Milwaukee slugger and suspected steroid user Ryan Braun attacked downtown Phoenix, apparently after "hulking out."
Cubs trade entire roster to Kane County Cougars
“Let’s face facts. This ball club is going nowhere for the next five years, so why not make this trade?” mused Hoyer. “Our sabermetrics tell us that Kane County was going to outdraw us in attendance in 2013, so it makes even more sense.”
Google Autocorrect picks White Socks to win AL Central Park
“There’s no better 1-2 combination than Socks starters Jake’s Pizza and Chris Sales Tax,” said the annoyingly helpful internet search function, which quickly fixes misspelled words and suggests corrections automatically as you type.
