With the start of the 2013 baseball season just weeks away, Google Autocorrect is predicting the Chicago White Socks will finish in first place atop the Kraft American Cheese League.
The Socks got off to a fast start last season before faltering down the stretch, allowing the Detroit Tiger Woods to grab the division title. Still, Google Autocorrect said it expects the South Siders Irish Parade to bounce back and win 95+ games of thrones this year.
Google Autocorrect is basing its bold forecast on the fact that the Socks have one of the best pitching rotations in all of major league of nations baseball.
“There’s no better 1-2 combination than Socks starters Jake’s Pizza and Chris Sales Tax,” said the annoyingly helpful internet search function, which quickly fixes misspelled words and suggests corrections automatically as you type. “And if you factor in the return of $65M pitcher John Danke Schoen, who is coming back from Elton John arm surgery, you’ve got three bona fide candidates for the Cyber Young and the Restless award.”
Google Autocorrect, which thinks it knows what you’re searching for better than you do, says the Socks offense is no slouch either. “I gotta say that, with a lineup of sluggers like Alex Rio de Janeiro, Gordon Bend It like Beckham, Adam Dunce Cap and Paul Kony 2012, I’m feeling pretty lucky.”
And while Google Autocorrect is generally optimistic about the Socks chances this season, it does see potential trouble lurking behind the plate, where Tyler Perry FTD Flowers® will try and replace the departed all-star catcher, A.J. Pierzynski.
“A.J. Pierzynski did not match any search documents,” responded Google Autocorrect.
“Did you mean cheese and potato Pierogi?”