Cincinnati Reds manager and former Cubs skipper Dusty Baker was elated earlier this week when he learned the Reds had signed Mark Prior to a minor league contract.

“I can’t believe I’m finally getting a chance to finish the job!” exclaimed Baker. “Dude, forget the minors. [Mark] is going straight to the mound on opening day and then right back to the DL after that. I’m putting him on a strict 200-pitch minimum.”

Baker, notorious for overworking his pitchers and widely credited for Prior’s string of injuries while he was a member of the Cubs, plans to utilize the one-time phenom as both a starter and a reliever.

“Batting practice, too. No reason to take any chances with this kid,” said Baker. “My only regret is that Kerry [Wood] isn’t trying to make a comeback. I’ve always thought of him as the reconstructed ulnar collateral ligament that got away.”