Cubs unable to field complete team after majority of teenaged roster forced back to...
About half of the 25-man roster suddenly departed on Thursday after being hunted down and returned to high school by truant officers, leaving the Cubs unable to field a team or even send out a pitcher.
Brett Jackson strikes out four times in one at-bat
“I didn’t even think it was possible,” said Epstein of Jackson’s performance. “I’d be laughing my ass off if he wasn’t on our team. What’s he going to do next? Trip over his shoelaces while running out a fly ball?”
Cubs send Astros flowers, ask them not to leave
It became apparent over the weekend that the Cubs suddenly noticed the value of their partners in shame when thousands of bouquets of flowers appeared around Minute Maid park with notes that read: “Gonna miss u. Baby plz don’t go."
Major League Baseball encourages Cubs to start using PEDs
"There are many people out there using drugs to increase performance," he said. "I wholeheartedly endorse usage by the Chicago Cubs. They are that bad."
From baseball games to musical chairs, Volstad has lost every thing he’s attempted since...
The bad luck continues for Chris Volstad. After the Reds pushed the struggling righty's winless streak to 24 this weekend, he had time to reflect on all the other things in his life that he also not winning at since the streak started on July 17, 2011.
Cubs re-sign errorless Alfonso Soriano for another eight years
“Even though I always pull him for defensive purposes in the eighth inning, I appreciate Alfonso catching everything hit to him,” skipper Dale Sveum said. "We're excited to have him on our roster until he's well into his mid-40s."
Iowa Cubs fans displeased with having to pay Triple-A ticket prices just to watch...
“I’m not going to pay 12 bucks a ticket and $3.50 for a beer just to watch some double-A nobodies!” said Iowan Jud Purdue. “Logan Watkins?! Who is this schlub? I want real triple-A players. And at least a one quadruple-A stud.”
