Citing that errorless season Alfonso Soriano is currently enjoying, the Cubs announced that they have signed the aging left fielder for another eight years effective the end of his current contract which expires after the 2014 campaign.

“Even though I always pull him for defensive purposes in the eighth inning, I appreciate Alfonso catching everything hit to him,” skipper Dale Sveum said. “We’re excited to have him on our roster until he’s well into his mid-40s.”

Signing Soriano to such a deal was no easy task for the Cubs, as Theo Epstein had to call in his predecessor Jim Hendry to reel in the star.

“There’s no way I could have sat across from Sorri’s agent yesterday with a straight face and completed an eight-year, $175 million contract,” Epstein said. “From what I hear, that was always Jim’s specialty.”

By Rob C. Christiansen

HecklerRob