New Cubs tickets to clearly state ‘For Amusement Purpose Only’
“Winning isn't everything,” Cubs president Theo Epstein said. “It was just an option.”
Cubs Week In Review: Sharknado strikes again
MVP: Jeff "The Shark" Samardzija – The big, goofy-haired right-hander won both his starts. The former All-American wide receiver must be getting excited about football season starting or there were some left-over Biogenesis drugs lying around the clubhouse.
Cubs successfully avoid ‘creepy’ San Diego mayor during Padres series
Cubs management announced after Sunday evening's 15-inning loss to the Padres that the team successfully avoided the outgoing mayor of San Diego during their entire weekend series in the Southern California city.
After trading DeJesus, Cubs looking for player with hottest wife
Beautiful Wrigley Field got a lot less beautiful when David DeJesus got traded this week, meaning no more sightings of his beautiful wife Kim. Now the Cubs are looking to replace her in the stands.
Cubs donate Castro to 1-877-Kars-4-Kids
“It was Coach Dave McKay who came up with the idea," said Hoyer. "We were brain-storming the other day when Dave mentioned he recently donated a clunker car to a charity.”
Ryan Braun admits he never read the apology his lawyers wrote for him
"My legal guys took care of that," said Braun. "It's important people understand I have no interest in apologizing whatsoever. I deeply regret the fact I find myself in this position. But here I am. I just hope America believes whatever my lawyers made up so we can all put this matter behind us."
Yankee savior Alfonso Soriano tests positive for being an Ex-Cub
The sample was compared to a blood test conducted during his time with the Cubs and they realized that leaving the Cubs actually improved Soriano's DNA to the point that he became an effective baseball player again.
