Cubs

Iconic eatery Hot Doug's has announced it will embark on a "permanent vacation" on Oct. 4 to coincide with yet another year where the Cubs will not be featured in the playoffs.

"On behalf of the Ricketts family and the entire Chicago Cubs franchise, we are embarrassed by this type of behavior," said Epstein. "Mr. Clark will no longer have access to Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, you guys get the idea. Additionally, we do not condone the phrase, 'makin' it rain.'"

Stiviano and Clark reportedly met at the Sheraton Chicago Hotel and Towers during Cubs Convention 2014. Stiviano didn’t plan on being on the hotel to meet the true love of her life. She actually was there just hoping to meet young up-and-coming Cubs player.

"The first order of business is to make sure we have plenty of craft beers and gourmet hot dogs," joked Bowman. "Ah, I kid you. Those have nothing to do with championships. The first thing we have to do is sign good players. I've noticed the team hasn't really done that much in the last hundred years or so."

One major highlight of Wednesday's 100th anniversary celebration of the opening of Wrigley Field was dampened after a massive tax bill was issued on the 400-pound birthday cake replicating the historic ballpark.

The home ballpark of the Cubs, which officially opened on April 23, 1914, had to endure three hours of Chicago Cubs baseball on the 100th anniversary of that event in a game that included, in typical Cubs fashion, a five-run 9th inning and eventual embarrassing loss.

Not to be outdone by the 100 year Wrigley Field anniversary party today, the White Sox have announced their first ever “Cell-Ebration,” a huge bash celebrating U.S. Cellular Field’s 23 years and 5 days birthday tonight.