Blackhawks

If you were a sports fan living in Chicago during the 90's, you probably experienced most of this list at some point.

“For years I have played a character on television who has won numerous laser tag championships. If you fail to see how that translates onto the ice, just wait for it…”

“Some kids started asking Santa too many questions,” said Shaw. “So I asked them if they wanted to dance, dropped my little green gloves and went to town. I didn’t think it was a big deal since we were about the same size.”

“We stand for low, low rates on car insurance,” said company representative Ray Reed. “But one thing you can’t skimp on is clearing skaters out of the crease. It doesn’t take a caveman to know that. Remember them? The Geico cavemen? They briefly had a sitcom. Wow.”

“We’ve been draining every ounce of energy from this song for several years,” said Bowman. “Honestly, at this point it’s become way too humble. Seriously. We’ve got rings, plural. Girls. Whirlpools. The guys are popping out babies left and right. It’s time to rap about it.”

“I like to use different colored markers to represent forwards, center and the defensemen,” said Quenneville. “I usually have a few of each color stashed here and there: in my suit coats, at the desk, in the sock drawer at home. But I can stop anytime. I only do it, you know, before games. Sometimes after.”

"This isn't the Sharpie I know and love," said Miller after the Hawks' 6-2 loss to the Kings Wednesday night. "He's just not playing like himself. He must be hurt and I'm just the person to nurse him back to health."