Friday, April 19, 2024

NHL allows Blackhawks to shorten games from three periods to two

"I must admit after kicking butt for the first two periods, we're thinking about which bar or strip club we're going to after the game, then we come out flat for the third," said Patrick Kane.

‘Toews nominated for everything,’ NHL announces

"I'm not even on his team and I think he deserves the Vezina," said Tukka Rask. "Did you see the goaltending he did? Neither did I! That's how good he is!"

‘Totally healthy’ Kane and Toews will play rest of first round duck-taped to each-other

"Kane will do the bulk of the skating, while Toews will be strapped to his back, barking out orders. This should feel familiar to both.”

Putin rescinds controversial gay propaganda laws after meeting Patrick Sharp

“We may have made a mistake,” said Putin. “What person would not want to grab this man by his face and kiss both cheeks more times than normal social etiquette would call for?”

Toews gathers young forwards to explain what second place is

“I saw some team above us in the standings and thought I was holding my phone upside down,” said forward Brandon Saad. “So I turned it around, but the picture flipped with it! This went on for like 45 minutes.”

What NHL Team Should You Actually Root For?

Find out which NHL jersey you should really be wearing on game day.

Blackhawks to send 31 to Sochi, represent all national hockey teams

All Hawks players will be participating, including Nikolai Khabibulin, who will represent the U.S.S.R. for his 11th Olympic games.