"I must admit after kicking butt for the first two periods, we're thinking about which bar or strip club we're going to after the game, then we come out flat for the third," said Patrick Kane.
"Kane will do the bulk of the skating, while Toews will be strapped to his back, barking out orders. This should feel familiar to both.”
“We may have made a mistake,” said Putin. “What person would not want to grab this man by his face and kiss both cheeks more times than normal social etiquette would call for?”
“I saw some team above us in the standings and thought I was holding my phone upside down,” said forward Brandon Saad. “So I turned it around, but the picture flipped with it! This went on for like 45 minutes.”
All Hawks players will be participating, including Nikolai Khabibulin, who will represent the U.S.S.R. for his 11th Olympic games.