On the heels of Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews’ nomination for the Mark Messier Leadership Award, as well as the Selke Award for defensive forwards, the National Hockey League has announced that he is also nominated for “everything else, award or not.”
“He’s so great, we’ve dedicated two whole interns to making papier-maché heads of him to hang in a place of honor,” said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman.
“Toews is an exceptional player who deserves every award we’ve got,” began the official NHL press release. “We might even make up some new awards for him, too.”
Perhaps the most shocking honors Toews is now eligible for are the Vezina and Norris trophies, traditionally awarded for exceptional goaltending and defense.
His fellow nominees came out in full support of Toews, most notably fellow Blackhawk, Duncan Keith, nominated for the Norris, and Bruins goaltender, Tukka Rask, contender for the Vezina.
“No way we win over him,” said Keith, as Rask nodded along emphatically over a video conference call.
“I’m not even on his team and I think he deserves the Vezina,” said Rask. “Did you see the goaltending he did? Neither did I! That’s how good he is!”