It took them hours of deliberation. The marathon barnstorming session in Bristol seemed like it would never end. Headline writers and pundits at ESPN had no idea how to encapsulate Florida State QB Jameis Winston’s public citation for stealing crab legs from the local grocery store.
Finally, just when it looked like all hope was lost, somebody came up with the title of “Teammates question Winston’s Shelfish Motives.”
Sure, other headlines were bandied about during the exhaustive introspective. There was the title yelled repeatedly by Stuart Scott: “Winston proves that staying out of trouble is no crabcake walk.”
Another headline that didn’t make the cut came from Kenny Mayne: “Jameis Winston defense doesn’t have a crableg to stand on.”
However, those headlines just didn’t deliver in the eyes of ESPN management. Neither did Mel Kiper Jr’s “Future NFL quarterback Jameis Winston shows off an impressive time in the Dine and 40 Yard Dash.”
Meanwhile, ESPN legal analyst Roger Cossack was quick to point out that Winston couldn’t escape the “long arm of the claw.” Furthermore, college football analyst Desmond Howard advised that “Prospective NFL Teams might view Winston as the Deadliest Catch.”
Even Steve Young got in on the action by using his crayolas to write the blistering headline “Jameis no get throw run football if police say he did a sad-bad.”