After witnessing the Blackhawks give up 13 ugly goals in the past three games, the Geico Insurance Company took a historic turn from their quest to sponsor every moment of every sporting event and officially un-sponsored Chicago’s defensive game.
“We stand for low, low rates on car insurance,” said company representative Ray Reed. “But one thing you can’t skimp on is clearing skaters out of the crease. It doesn’t take a caveman to know that. Remember them? The Geico cavemen? They briefly had a sitcom. Wow.”
The reigning champion Blackhawks have scored a league-high 79 goals through 22 games, but rank in the bottom third of the league in goals-against. The Geico Gecko is not worried about this turn of events for the champs.
“Hey! I’m in the Windy City!” said Gecko. “Let’s eat some deep dish pizza and go for the low rate conversion! Mustache! Ditka!”
In a likely attempt to land the open sponsorship, Flo the Progressive girl also made a statement:
“Progressive! Get with the winning team and score the best rates on car insurance! Seriously, though, can you guys help me? I lost a bet five years ago. They have my children. Please help me out of this.”