Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Red Sox recruit Mothra to attack Yankees pitcher Phil Hughes

Controversy is swirling over Terry Francona’s decision to unleash Mothra against Yankees pitcher Phil Hughes in the sixth inning of Wednesday’s game at Fenway Park. While the Red Sox maintain the move was perfectly legal, Yankees officials are in an uproar.

ESPN broadcasts of Yankees-Red Sox games cancelled due to national indifference

“It’s about time. The games have gotten so stale that it feels like nothing ever happens,” said a high ranking employee at ESPN. “It’s like watching four and a half hours of 'Entourage' reruns every time they play.”

New Yorkers question ‘alternative marriage’ when Yankees fan marries Red Sox fan

A Yankees fan club known as “The Swanky Yankees” is protesting the legalization of gay marriage, after it was revealed that a Yankees fan had married a Red Sox fan on the day of the law’s enactment.

Mets to retire Bill Buckner’s number in August celebration

The Mets won Game Six 25 years ago this October when Buckner--playing first for the Red Sox--failed to corral a ground ball that trickled through his legs in the bottom of the 10th inning at Shea Stadium.

Yankees fan blames home loss to Red Sox on girlfriend’s refusal to wear rally...

“It’s impossible,” Scaramone said. “There’s no way we would’ve lost if Sheila had worn her rally cap like I told her to.”

Cubs-Red Sox a potential World Series preview, claims nobody

“It’s more likely that Aramis Ramirez will steal 10 bases this year,” said ESPN Radio’s Mike Golic. “I also think we could see Reed Johnson win the MVP award or Soriano hustle out a grounder before the Cubs and Red Sox square off for a title.”

Soriano to skip Cubs-Red Sox series after nightmare about ‘green monster’ at Fenway

“People say it eats left fielders alive,” said Soriano, still clutching the teddy bear he sleeps with each night. “Even Senior Tickles can’t protect me from the ‘Monstruo Verde.’ It’s a good thing I sleep with my helmet on or he would have eaten my cabeza.”