Controversy is swirling over Terry Francona’s decision to unleash Mothra against Yankees pitcher Phil Hughes in the sixth inning of Wednesday’s game at Fenway Park. While the Red Sox maintain the move was perfectly legal, Yankees officials are in an uproar.
“It’s about time. The games have gotten so stale that it feels like nothing ever happens,” said a high ranking employee at ESPN. “It’s like watching four and a half hours of 'Entourage' reruns every time they play.”
A Yankees fan club known as “The Swanky Yankees” is protesting the legalization of gay marriage, after it was revealed that a Yankees fan had married a Red Sox fan on the day of the law’s enactment.
The Mets won Game Six 25 years ago this October when Buckner--playing first for the Red Sox--failed to corral a ground ball that trickled through his legs in the bottom of the 10th inning at Shea Stadium.
“It’s impossible,” Scaramone said. “There’s no way we would’ve lost if Sheila had worn her rally cap like I told her to.”
“It’s more likely that Aramis Ramirez will steal 10 bases this year,” said ESPN Radio’s Mike Golic. “I also think we could see Reed Johnson win the MVP award or Soriano hustle out a grounder before the Cubs and Red Sox square off for a title.”
“People say it eats left fielders alive,” said Soriano, still clutching the teddy bear he sleeps with each night. “Even Senior Tickles can’t protect me from the ‘Monstruo Verde.’ It’s a good thing I sleep with my helmet on or he would have eaten my cabeza.”