Dismay could be seen on the face of Theo Epstein this week when Phillies interim manager Ryne Sandberg arrived at Wrigley field. The saber-guru, once and possible savior, and new Cubs president seemed lost in thought. Then it came out: Epstein admitted he had mixed up the careers of former Major Leaguers Sandberg and Dale Sveum.

“Sandberg … damn, I knew it started with an ‘S’,” Epstein was overheard muttering as he strode by reporters before Friday’s game.

Shortly afterwards, Epstein held a quick press conference outside his office.

“For the past year and a half I’ve been under the impression that I had hired, as the Cubs head coach, a Hall of Fame second baseman who played a good fundamental game and put in his time coaching the minors, as opposed to a shortstop whose average barely cracked .250. But you see how this could happen. Both their names start with an ‘S’. They may as well be twins. At least on paper.”

It is not yet known if Epstein is aware that first base coach Dave McKay was a Cardinal for fifteen years.

Bandwagon Dan