After a controversial end to this week’s Monday Night Football game, which saw Seattle beat Green Bay with a hail mary caught simultaneously by two opposing players, a disgruntled Wisconsin farmer has created an army of impartial robot referees and offered them up to the NFL. Jim Forsythe, the inventor, hopes his creation will replace the replacement refs and finally take the human element out of calling a sporting event.

Upon investigation, however, the “robots” were found to be mostly goats and other wildlife sewn into scarecrows, with tape recorders that occasionally blurted “NO CATCH.”

Forsythe defended his creation: “My Refbot 1000 can work all night with no pay and is 100% impartial. If one makes a call on one end, it’ll make the same exact call on the other. And they never disagree with one another. As for the old refs, they can all come work for me as engineers. No degree needed.”

“Some of these facets are improvements,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “However, I think we’re going to stick to the current system since it seems to be working pretty well.”

Bandwagon Dan