In a political move bound to sway voters in the upcoming election, Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan has announced he now supports all unions. This political decision in the self-proclaimed “greatest state ever invented,” could have a profound impact in not just the NFL, but the national political scene as well.
“We need to support the NFL referees in their lockout, and we cannot allow them to lose their negotiating power against those evil billionaire owners,” Ryan announced to a crowd of Wisconsinites.
When asked what caused this major shift in political and social opinion, Ryan responded candidly.
“Before we were dealing with frivolous issues, like education and teachers,” said Ryan. “But now we are dealing with the Packers, America’s team, who lost a game because of these greedy billionaires and I will not stand for it.”
After Ryan was questioned whether or not the Cowboys were actually “America’s team,” he responded by bashing the Texas team.
“Have the Cowboys won 4 Super Bowls? No! I didn’t think so! Wisconsin is the greatest football state in the world. No state has a team that has won more Super Bowls; no state has a team that perennially loses in the Rose Bowl like our beloved Badgers. These are important issues to the state of Wisconsin. There’s a reason why Packers fans purchased hundreds of thousands of dollars of fake, worthless stock printed on toilet paper, and it’s not because financial decisions are important to our voters. Football is important!”