Steve Farlucci of Palatine was shocked yesterday evening when officials from the University of Illinois attended his YMCA girls 9-10 year-old basketball practice. During a water break, desperate officials moved in and offered the head coaching position for the Illini next season.

Farlucci was surprised at the $1.5 million offer, but decided that coaching his little daughter’s team was more appealing.

“We’ve just started teaching the girls about rebounding,” said Farlucci. “Plus Shaka Smart got a $3 million offer. What am I, chopped liver?”

Farlucci marked the 34th coach and fourth YMCA employee to reject an offer from Illinois. The university eventually opted to hire Ohio’s John Groce.

Brew Dreesus